2022.01.17 00:12 penny017 AP contacted me tonight, trust your gut
I’ve had a feeling over the past month that he’s been once again talking to another woman, asked him about it, told him my worries. He of course denied it. We had a big blow out last Monday, I kicked him out. Blow out was his fault & him accusing me of cheating, btw. I noticed he sent her a Facebook friend request, she accepted, then he deleted yesterday. She has the fucking nerve to message me tonight asking why I’m blocking him from being a friend with her on Facebook and said “It’s pathetic… you’re pathetic…a complete joke 😂😂😂”. Fucking really??? I was fuming, shaking, holding back from blowing up. So I decided to take the high road and was nice to get info from her. She says they had seen each other a few times over the past few weeks. Sent me one screen shot from the day after our blow out & says she deleted the rest. I asked her which two nights this week she saw him, both nights we weren’t together.
He is of course denying it. He lied about friending her on Facebook, lied about contacting her… that he can not escape. And I had said to him earlier today that if I catch him in anymore lies we are done. He is saying how she is & how she feels about me “of course she isn’t going to tell me the truth”. Also made a suicide comment (really?). I let him go on and on until he gave up & hung up. Was completely calm with him too, had texted him before the phone conversation that I was heartbroken, disappointed, felt used, jerked around”. Not worth my energy being pissed and blowing up on him.
I want to tell her the fuck off, but holding back so I can get info. The only thing I said in response to her saying she trusts the wrong people was “Well.. not for nothing, I trusted you and you were sleeping with him while we were together last spring… and god know how much earlier it started. “ She said you’re right and apologized. Bull shit!!
I asked if they use an app to talk, she said only the phone. Not sure what else to ask her. Part of me wants to press and ask for phone records just so I can put him on the spot & finally get him to tell me the truth. Part of me wants is like forget it because he lied regardless and we are done. But I deserve the truth & he needs to squirm telling it to me.
Anyway, moral of the story is trust your gut.
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2022.01.17 00:12 realstuckonstupid A true home invasion horror game.. (Fears To Fathom: Home Alone | Episode 1)
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2022.01.17 00:12 mouth_toots What is this?
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2022.01.17 00:12 Tutu-TFG-boi 15$ for 5 celeb folders 10$ for each pyt Dropbox hmu will show proof of payments and pics
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2022.01.17 00:12 Stoned_Lumber Do people with low dopamine/serotonin have brains that contain those neurotransmitters but fail to properly release them? or is it a shortage of the endo-supply itself?
2022.01.17 00:12 MyNetworkIsDeeper X-Post: Anti-Hopium
2022.01.17 00:12 Beatnick120 Is it bad that I, as a 16 year old, can only hear up to about 13000 HZ?
I did one of those YouTube hearing tests and could hear the very lowest range but stopped hearing at around 13500 HZ, Is this really bad for my age? I know I’ve damaged my hearing due to playing drums without ear protection and my friends say the music I listen to is way too loud, but I can barely hear it. is something wrong?
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2022.01.17 00:12 OtherwiseAd2555 Warm sensation in my lower neck and lower back when I lay down.
Height: 6’ 0
Race: Choose not to disclose
Duration of complaint: two weeks
Location: lower neck and lower back
Any existing relevant medical issues: lumbar bulging disc and cervical pinched nerve
Current medications: none
For the past two weeks, been getting a warm sensation in my neck and lower back every time I lay down. I have chronic back pain and some issues in those regions, and I decided to try some Icy Hot to help the pain for about a week. Well one day I noticed after I got out of the shower, my lower back got REALLY hot. At first I just thought it was a reaction from the water and the remaining icy hot I thought I still had on my back. This incident happened on December 30, and while I haven’t had that situation happen in the shower again, I notice everytime I lie down my neck and lower back regions get REAL warms which has never happened to me before, even after dealing with back issues for 4 years.
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2022.01.17 00:12 sburgess86 A candidate gene cluster for the bioactive natural product gyrophoric acid in lichen-forming fungi
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2022.01.17 00:12 Denklehre Chimney strap and 5 ft mast setup
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2022.01.17 00:12 zamriduan Questions by a flashcard noob
2022.01.17 00:12 Jv_the_bull was it just me, who could see similarities between these two?
|submitted by Jv_the_bull to KimetsuNoYaiba [link] [comments]|
2022.01.17 00:12 Jneros Career path question. Need advice thanks
I am trying to decide what career path is best for me. My community college (Rio Hondo College) offers different kind of IT certs. I just don't know which one to go with. My options are:
2022.01.17 00:12 Frijolpinto6 TRABAJO DE PROGRAMADOR EN MTY
Alguien sabe si los programadores son bien pagados en mty? O al menos alguna empresa donde si sea bien pagado? Soy estudiante de tec en software pero la vdd si me da miedo no encontrar jale por el motivo de "no haber jale de eso en mty" o ser muy mal pagado
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2022.01.17 00:12 Witchfinger84 Must Love Spiders Part 2
part 1- https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/s4ygbi/must_love_spiders_part_one/
I was standing on a step ladder trying to hammer nails into a half-busted frame in the dilapidated corner of a greenhouse when I heard the gun go off. The shotgun startled me, and I fell off the ladder, which caught the power cord for the lights, and yanked it out. The room fell to a state of near pitch black darkness.
My shins hurt like a couple of bitches on a bastard farm, I banged them on the cheap aluminum step ladder as I tumbled onto the floor, and as the light faded when the electricity was cut, I could see movement... Everywhere. Under the tables, on the leaves of the plants, in the dark and webby corners of the room. There was a surreal quality to the way the light retreated from the darkness and how the thousands of spiders hiding in the greenhouse manifested from the gloom.
I heard a whimpering canine sound from outside the greenhouse, saw a limping, pitiful shape silhouetted against the moonlight filtering through the clear plastic. I understood then that Sway-Lo had caught a coyote on the property.
The outline of the coyote flinched, then went limp. Silent. Sway-Lo had put it out of its misery. At least the coyote was done suffering, my ordeal was just beginning.
Lightning was still throbbing in my shins as I crawled across the floor, frantically searching for the power cord with my hands. I reached out, and felt them, like a hundred tiny gentle pin pricks, the soft touch of those featherlight legs tapping on my skin as the tiny arachnids hopped onto my body to take a ride.
I tried to block out the sensation. Wherever there was naked skin on my body, I felt them crawling. As I swept my hands around the floor like I was drying a wet car with a shammy towel, I felt the difference of texture on the floor, the texture of all those tiny little bug bodies under my palms.
I tried to block it out. Tried not to think about how many of them were crawling all over me right then. I knew it had to be at least a hundred, more than a hundred. I knew the ones I could feel on my hands were a minority compared to the ones I couldn’t feel through my clothes that I knew were exploring all over my back. I kept reminding myself that I was sweeping floors and mending crappy greenhouses for thirty bucks an hour. Thirty bucks an hour to be a human spider playground, not a bad way to pay rent.
There was a sinister presence in the green house, a premonition I had never felt in my life, like there was an intense hunger, heavy in the air like a fog. It was almost as thick as the smell of cannabis, it hit like a physical force. I wondered if that was how deer felt when they crossed a street and saw a pair of headlights coming at them, or maybe how a rodent felt as it was swept up in the claws of a hungry hawk. Whatever it was, it made me feel like prey.
Something brushed my fingers as I groped around in the darkness, trying to ignore the squirming texture of the floor that I knew was covered in spiders. I drew my hand away from it at first, thinking it might have been the leg of an especially large spider, but as my brain registered the feeling of the object, I realized that it wasn’t soft and hairy like the fur of a spider’s leg, but cold, smooth, and rubber... The power cord.
I reached out, grasped it. Something squished between my palm and the cord as I wrapped my fingers around it, and I knew that I had just murdered a handful of spiders in my quest to grip the cord. I pulled it straight, trying to visualize in my mind the path the cord must have taken when it was yanked out of the socket by the falling ladder, and whiplashed across the floor.
With my other hand, I began groping along the wall, brushing it gently with my fingertips. I knew not to dive too deep with my probing digits, because I would surely find a cavity in the cement blocks or in one of the toilet paper roll spider condos that made up the foundations of the green houses. There was a socket here somewhere, a jury-rigged electrical box that was sandwiched between a couple of the cement blocks in the back of the room.
My searching hand passed over hard, porous surfaces, and I felt the spiders scurry away from my touch, fleeing back into the concrete crevices they had been hiding in. My fingers moved over that terrible carpet of tiny predators until they brushed something cold and smooth, the faceplate of an electrical socket. I yanked the cord over, found the plug, and shoved it into the socket.
The light sputtered back on, and just as the living carpet had rushed out of it's hiding places to claim the darkness, it retreated with equal vigor. The only sensation more harrowing than the feeling of the tiny creatures crawling onto my flesh was their hasty retreat across my skin back to their shelter. I could feel some of them around my wrists, where they had crawled up the sleeve of my shirt to find warm and comfortable darkness.
I tried to ignore the living carpet as it retreated from the light, and found more immediate concerns. Directly in front of me, the yawning mouth of a concrete block loomed, and in that cobweb-choked maw, I saw the eight beady eyes of a small tarantula, at least small compared to the Huntsmen and Goliath Birdeaters I had seen earlier, his body was still at least the size of a silver dollar. He was silky and black, like the fur of a black cat, and he stared at me as I stared at him, preening his mandibles, running his forelegs over them like he was dabbing his lips with a napkin after eating a delicious meal. If a spider could look smug, that spooky little fucker certainly did.
The door to the greenhouse banged open, and I saw Consuelo, the shotgun in one of her hands. She looked smug until she actually saw me crawling on the ground, and her features shifted to a look of concern when she realized I might have been hurt.
“You okay? I heard the crash and saw the lights in the greenhouse go out after the first shot, I figured I spooked you.” She said.
“Yea... Just fucked my shins up falling down. And I think there’s spiders in my clothes. How’s the coyote?” I asked.
“Dead. Poor bastard, the first shot just gave him the pepper. I had to tap him twice to finish him off, I didn't want him to suffer.” Consuelo explained.
She stepped into the greenhouse, took five long strides with her amazon legs, and yanked me up to my feet.
“You really gotta kill em?” I asked.
“They’re a nuisance. They’ll kill the neighbor’s pets if they catch them, and they tear their way through the plastic on the greenhouses and root around the foundation blocks to try to dig up the tarantula burrows and eat the big ones.” Consuelo said.
“Gimme a minute. My shins still sting like fuck.” I said.
“Come on, we’ll walk it off, I’ll show you something. Give you a minute to shake all your coworkers out of your clothes. Well, most of them. You won’t be totally free of your hitchhikers until you drop your drawers in the laundry room.” Consuelo said.
I decided that was a good idea, and followed Consuelo out of the greenhouse and around the outside of it. In the back row, I saw the ragged, furry shape of the dead coyote on the ground, a dark patch in the dirt growing under it, a bloody puddle in the moonlight.
“Wanna see something that’s not spiders?” Consuelo asked.
“Anything that isn’t spiders sounds pretty great right now, Sway-Lo, but spoiler alert, I’m pretty sure I know it’s a dead coyote.” I said.
“Nah, it’s more interesting than that.” Consuelo said.
She led me to the back of the property to the pre-fab shed where the farmhands stored their fertilizer, and dragged the coyote carcass with her. She dropped the dead dog in front of the door, slung the shotgun back over her shoulder, and reached into her pocket and pulled out a key ring.
Consuelo opened the shed and flicked a light on, and once again, I saw a living carpet of terror retreat into dark corners. I was probably never going to get used to that. In the middle of the floor was a sixty gallon plastic storage tub with a lid on it.
“Take the top off of that and look inside.” Consuelo smiled.
I did as she was told, and looked down. Well, it wasn’t spiders, but I didn’t know why I expected it to be anything any less unnerving or strange, given that I was on the spider weed farm with a bunch of ex-adult film actors.
The floor of the plastic tub was a squirming mass of beetles and larvae, I had traded one creepy crawly carpet for another. I turned to face Consuelo with a look of shock and revulsion on my face, I wanted to know why she was fucking with me.
“They’re skin beetles.” She said, “They clean corpses. A mature colony can strip a deer skull to the bone in a day.”
“Freaky.” I said.
“This is what museums use to clean the bones for their display skeletons. It’s better than boiling the flesh off, when you boil a carcass the bones get stained yellow and brittle. When beetles eat them down to the bone, they come out spotless, clean and white.” Consuelo explained.
She lifted the coyote carcass, dumped it into the beetle bin. “Put the lid back on it.”
I did, the last thing I wanted to see right then with my clothes full of spiders was a bunch of bugs crawling over a dog corpse.
“They won’t start attacking it at first, it’s gotta dry out a little, but once they do, it’ll be nothing but bones in no time. The larvae do most of the work, the adult beetles aren’t carrion eaters. We scoop up the adults and throw them into the greenhouses to feed the spiders, all the shit and leftover funk goes into the fertilizer pile, and the clean animal bones get sold to those hippy naturalist shops that are into shit like ferns and deer antlers and all that crap.” Consuelo explained.
“Well at least nothing is wasted.” I shrugged.
“Yea, around here, the only thing you miss is sleep.” Consuelo smiled.
I went into the house to change my clothes and brush myself off. My shins still stung like crazy, but I knew that when the pain eventually stopped, I’d probably be able to focus on other sensations, like the spiders I knew were crawling all over every nook and cranny of my body. I wasn’t in a hurry to experience that, so I opted to deal with it while I was still distracted by the sensation of my scraped shins kissing the legs of my pants with their skinless bones.
I stripped down to my boxers in the laundry room, yanked my shirt and jeans off, and just started smacking myself like I was trying to put out a fire. I looked down at my shins and saw they were pink and raw, and there were a couple red spots with pinpricks of blood where the skin had scraped all the way off. If there were worse pains in the world than that, I didn’t want to experience them. At least the coyote had the luxury of death.
I was sitting on a little stool in the laundry room in my boxers, just waiting out the pain, when Bellatrix walked in, wearing a black fleece bathrobe. Of course it was black.
“Are you alright? I heard shots. Did Consuelo catch a coyote?” She asked.
“Yeah... Yeah, I was mending a busted frame in greenhouse #3 when she popped shots. It startled me and I fell off my ladder and banged my shins.” I explained.
“Would you like some rubbing alcohol? Maybe an ibuprofen?” Bellatrix asked.
“Nah, I just need to sit down and tough it out. It's near the end of my shift anyway, shouldn’t you be asleep?” I asked.
“Oh, I’m a bit of a night owl myself. Was the coyote male or female?” She asked.
“I don’t know. Does it matter?” I asked.
“Coyotes are mostly solitary hunters. The only time there’s more than one is if it's a mated pair or a family unit. If it was a female there could be more.” She explained.
“Oh. Neat.” I said.
“We’ll get you some paperwork and a gun later. They’re very problematic for the farm, I’d be happy to let you carry a piece on the property if you like.” Bellatrix said.
“Let’s talk about that later. Right now I just want my legs to stop stinging. I don’t think anything’s broken or anything, but taking a hit straight to the bone with no muscle on it, it ain’t fun.” I said.
“Consuelo said you’ve been doing a good job.” She said.
“I think Sway-Lo’s happy that someone else is just stomping around at night keeping her company.” I admitted. I didn’t think I had been on the job long enough for anyone to really evaluate my work. “There’s something I wanted to ask you though.”
“Go ahead.” She nodded.
“The spiders. I get that they must be nocturnal, but they really seemed conditioned to reacting to light. I accidentally yanked the power cord out when I fell, and... I saw them. It was like a floodgate opened. Is that... Normal?” I asked.
Bellatrix regarded me with an expression I couldn’t exactly figure out in that moment, an expression that reminded me of the way that tarantula in the greenhouse was staring at me, contemplative, but alien and blank.
“Theoretically, no, but I think it’s a learned behavior. During the daytime when the farmhands are here, there’s lots of traffic, noise, and light in the greenhouses. They play music while they work, and typically, when we feed them, we throw the beetles on the plants at night so they know exactly where the food is. They know where to expect the food to be when the lights go out. But arachnids in general aren’t terribly intelligent, they just have an excellent catalog of instincts hard won through evolution. Did Consuelo show you the beetles?” Bellatrix asked.
“Yea, we dumped the dead dog in the beetle bucket in the fertilizer shed.” I said.
“I’ll ask her about the animal’s sex. Is there anything else you need tonight? You must be pretty shook up from being in that dark greenhouse and seeing them all come out. Are you still up to the job?” Bellatrix asked.
“You’ll have to do worse than a couple of bugs and a dead mutt to scare me off for what you’re paying me.” I said, “But, yeah... I was kind of freaked out for a minute there. I mean, it wasn’t the spiders themselves. You know, I expected the spiders. I get it, spiders are our thing here, it comes with it. But... There was this feeling I had, like I could feel something hungry watching me, when the lights went out. It was like... Thulsa Doom in Conan.”
“Thulsa Doom in Conan?” Bellatrix asked.
“Yeah, when he’s gonna get revenge on Arnold Schwarzenegger, in the movie, he says this spooky shit... Now they will know why they are afraid of the dark. Now they will learn why they fear the night.”
Bellatrix gave me that alien spidery look again. Why wouldn’t she give me the alien spider look? She was the goth adult industry queen of the spider weed farm. Her lips split into a smile, and she laughed. “I like it.”
I pulled my other pair of jeans on, the jeans that were sitting in a bag on the washing machine, not full of spiders. “I think you’ve got me for about fifteen more minutes. You think that was just in my head, right?”
“Of course.” She said, “I mean, it is the Addams Family spider farm at night. You’re bound to get some Halloween vibes.”
She had that look again.
As I was driving home, I began to feel like she might have been lying about something.
“Dude, you look kind of fucked up, are you alright?” Devon asked me. Devon was the couch surfing roommate, a screenwriter from Ohio.
Well, a wannabe screenwriter. He was bussing tables at some Hollywood snob watering hole, at least until he met Martin Scorcese or some shit and got his script in front of him and made a bajillion bucks or whatever. That was the thing about screenwriters in LA, they were all just temporarily working in the restaurant industry until they either made it or went back to where they came from. I had literally never seen Devon write a single word on a piece of paper or type anything on a computer, so I didn’t have a lot of hope for him. He made good tips at his rooftop bar restaurant though, so as long as his rent was paid, good for him.
I realized that I probably did look like something close to hammered shit. I was pale as hell because I never saw the sun anymore, I was sleeping all day because I worked nights, and I was sitting on the couch in my boxers with scabs all over my legs from the shin scraping incident when I fell off the ladder.
“It’s just the job man, night shift. I’m good.” I told him.
I told the boys as little about the job as I could. I figured that information was on a need to know basis. First of all, if I told them I worked on a cannabis farm run by adult film stars, they’d all want something from me- Free weed, hook ups with jobs, hook ups with my coworkers... All shit I didn’t want to deal with. I didn’t want to tell them about the weed because they were cheap bastards and I’d never hear the end of the begging. I didn’t want to tell them about the job because frankly, they were a couple of stoner screenwriters that never seemed to write anything, so I wasn’t really convinced they had the work ethic to survive farm work. Finally, the last thing I wanted was to endanger my own job and my own peace of mind by trying to get them dates with my bosses and coworkers. I didn’t need that drama.
Don’t get me wrong, they were alright guys and I was happy to split the bills with them, but that was the extent of our relationship. As far as I was concerned, my obligation to them ended with doing my own dishes.
Devon reached across the couch and swatted something on the arm rest.
“There’s spiders everywhere around here lately.” He noted.
“Leave 'em alone,” I said, “they’re predators. If there’s something for them to eat, they’ll eat it. If there’s not, they’ll starve. It’s free pest control. I’d rather have spiders than flies or ants.”
Of course, telling them the spiders were probably hitchhiking home with me was more of that need-to-know information.
That night when I went into work, Bellatrix called me into her office, and yeah, I still didn’t remember her real name, and was too chickenshit to admit to her that I forgot it ten minutes into the job interview. I was just waiting for someone else to say it so I wouldn’t have to ask.
“What’s up? What do you need?” I asked her.
There was a black tarantula like the one I had seen the other night in the cement block sitting on her desk, on a stack of papers. She gently brushed it off the stack and slid the papers across the desk towards me and handed me a pen.
“Sign these for me.” She said.
“Sure. What is it? HR crap? Benefits? Health plan?” I asked.
“Still working on that. This is paperwork for a hunting license.” Bellatrix said.
“Okay. I mean, I guess. I think Sway-Lo’s got the coyotes on lock though, she was pretty quick with the steel that other night.” I shrugged.
“I didn’t want to bother you with this stuff when you showed up because I wasn’t sure you were going to tough it out and stick with the job, but you were in a lights out greenhouse alone with the spiders and you didn’t run all the way home and never come back, so I figure you’re a keeper... And yea, that’s happened before.” Bellatrix said.
“What’s that got to do with me having papers to pop coyotes?” I asked.
“That’s just a formality... For popping coyotes. The truth is, I want you to carry a gun on the farm. I’ve got grandpa’s gun belt and his old 45 you can use, unless you want to buy your own. For personal protection.” Bellatrix said.
“From the spiders?” I asked.
“From the coyotes. The other coyotes. Humans.” Bellatrix said.
“Wait, you mean like, shooting people?” I asked.
“Did Consuelo not say anything about this?” Bellatrix asked.
“She told me she kept a pocketful of 00 Buck in her pockets for big game, but I thought she was fucking with me, a joke, just hazing the new guy.” I shrugged.
“She wasn’t joking. Like I said, I didn’t want to bring out this heavy shit until I was confident you were gonna stick around but... Weed farms get robbed. It’s part of the business. People hop the fences and break into greenhouses and steal plants. Sometimes they’re really bad people, sometimes they’re strapped. You shouldn’t be walking the grounds at night without protection.” Bellatrix said.
“You want me to put a bullet in someone over a plant?” I asked.
“No, I want you to put a bullet in someone if they try to put a bullet in you. Besides, armed presence is a deterrent. That’s why Consuelo’s always walking the yard with that big ass shotgun. Coyotes aren’t that large, you could easily kill them just as effectively with a smaller piece, but Mr Remington makes a bigger first impression, if you catch my drift. You actually need to use your hands to work, so I’ll settle for putting a pistol on your hip.” Bellatrix said.
“Well, if that’s company policy, then I’ll strap up.” I said.
“You’ve handled a piece before?” She asked.
“I’ve been on some fuck around camping trips where we’ve killed some beer cans.” I said.
“Tell me everything you know about gun safety.” She said.
“Keep the safety on, keep your finger off the trigger, always assume it's loaded, always make sure it's not loaded, no matter what somebody says when they hand it to you, never point it at anything you wouldn’t mind losing, and lock it up when you’re done.” I said.
“Not bad for a California boy.” Bellatrix smiled.
“Okay, great. Is that all?” I asked.
“Take this.” She said. She opened one of the drawers in her desk. I half expected a spider to crawl out, but this time, it didn’t.
She reached in and grabbed out a small purple tin can, like the kind that shoe shine or hair cream came in. It had silver spider web patterns on it and said SPIDER GARDEN FARMS in some kind of gothic Halloween font on the lid. Under that, it said 10x10mg Indica Cannabis Gummies.
“I’m not a stoner. I thought you didn’t hire stoners.” I said.
“Of course you’re not. But you look like shit and you work nights. Pop one of these when you lay down in the morning after you come home from work. They usually take about an hour and a half to hit, give or take depending on how full your stomach is. You’ll sleep like a baby and the high will burn off by the time you wake up. It’s better than sleeping pills or cough syrup.” She explained.
“Is this a test?” I asked.
“I don’t hire stoners. Popping a magical gummy bear before bed because you sleep during the day doesn’t make you a stoner. It might even help you stay human. Have you seen yourself lately?” She asked.
Unfortunately, I had seen myself, and I knew I looked like shit. Even with my roommates out of the apartment all day while I slept, we didn’t live in the nicest neighborhood, and silence is a privilege of wealth. I knew everything about my neighbors, and nothing about my neighbors. If that doesn’t make sense to you, it’s because you don’t live in the hood. Hood people air out their dirty laundry constantly. I didn’t know who Jamal was, but I knew Racquel was chasing him up and down the block at two in the afternoon with a broken table leg because he was sleeping with Erica, who if Racquel was to be believed, was a “broke ass wannabe Beyonce scallywag.”
“I look that bad, huh?” I said.
“You’re just adjusting to the schedule, it happens. Don’t worry about it, compared to performers on an adult film set, you look like a ray of sunshine. Nobody is pretty at a 5am make up call.” She laughed.
I put the tin of cannabis gummies in my pocket and went about my shift as normal. The farmer guys had wacked one of the trellis structures in Green House 2 during their harvest, and it took me a hot minute to fix that, then while walking the property with Consuelo, I found a hole under the south fence facing a ravine that the coyote from earlier must have gotten onto the property through. I got a bag of quick drying cement and a wheelbarrow and poured it into the hole to seal it and left it to dry with the morning sun.
I said my goodbyes to Consuelo at the end of my shift, changed clothes in the mud room, got in my car, and left. I went straight to bed when I got home, found the tin of edibles in my jacket pocket, and popped it open.
The candies themselves looked like little purple cubes of jello, and they all had a little stamp on them in the shape of a spider that must have been made of sugar or food coloring or something. I heard a police siren on the street outside, it drove past and faded into the distance. I figured why not? Bellatrix said it didn’t make me a stoner. I popped one, replaced the lid, and put the tin in the nightstand.
I laid down and scrolled through my phone for probably an hour, just reading boring news articles in the hopes it would help me drift off. Eventually, I felt the weed get in me. My mouth felt dry, I had to cough, but I didn’t feel sick. There was a pleasant numbness in my head that made me feel like my skull was a balloon, and I randomly remembered the chair from Pee Wee’s Playhouse and had a good laugh about people sitting on her face. My mattress felt softer, Chairry was a dirty slut, and I drifted off to sleep while trying to look up Pee Wee Herman’s rap sheet from that scandal when cops caught him jerking it in a sleazy adult theater.
I slept like a baby, but I dreamt like a fuckin weirdo. It was some kind of erotic dream, I guess it was a bit too long since I had gotten any action, and my subconscious was picking up the slack.
I was back on the weed farm, in the Addams Family house, in Bellatrix’s office, and I was nailing some goth chick on her desk. I had never seen her before in my life, or even in any porn I had ever watched for that matter. She was young, tight body, piercings all over the place. She had Bettie bangs and black lipstick and she was wearing nothing but fishnet stockings. I had her bent over the desk and I was ramming her like she owed me money, banging her like I had the energy of a 17 year old again.
All in all, it was pretty great. There was just one problem, I wasn’t me. Well, the guy nailing that girl, it definitely was me, but it was like, the weird rockabilly douchebag version of me. I was thirty pounds lighter, my arms were covered in regrettable looking cheap tattoos, I had some kind of ironic greaser pompadour and outrageous sideburns, and I had more black makeup on than the goth chick I was nailing. I guess I was just that into the job.
I pushed the girl down on the desk to switch positions, and opened the bottom drawer. I pulled out a silky looking white rope, and started looping it around the girl, tying her up. I guess that was where this was going, it was going to be one of those kind of weird videos. I finished mummy wrapping her with that coil of rope, tied it off, and then went to kiss her.
Except, I didn’t kiss her. I didn’t peck her on the lips or try to swallow her tongue, I just opened my mouth as wide as I could and full on bit her. Just bit her, right in the face. I clenched my jaw, and it was like I was trying to tear her lips off her face. Blood squirted out of the corners of our mouths and ran down her chin.
I heard the word “CUT!” and turned around to see Bellatrix in a director’s chair on the other side of a tripod mounted camcorder, and Consuelo holding a mic boom.
Then I woke up in a cold sweat, confused, but well rested. Fuck. Maybe I should have cut that weed candy in half and just ate one piece or something.
I looked down at my body lying in bed. I was still out of shape, and I didn’t have any bad tattoos. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and I didn’t feel any goofy sideburns on my jaw, and my fingers weren’t covered in sloppy black makeup.
I looked down at my feet. At the foot of my bed, where I had thrown my jacket when I came home. I must have slept like a rock, because typically I was a fitful sleeper and whatever laundry I left on the bed got thrown off the mattress when I tossed and turned.
I could see there was something black and furry in one of my jacket pockets, and a glimmer of little beady eyes. It was one of those (compared to the really big bastards) little silver-dollar sized black tarantulas, staring at me with his eight eyed, unknowable alien stare. The little fucker must have hitchhiked home with me, he probably crawled into my jacket while I left it on the ground the other night, after I took it off so I wouldn’t get wet concrete on it.
I got out of bed carefully. I didn’t want to spook him, because I was certain if he ran out of my pocket, he’d find somewhere else to hide where I’d never find him. I wasn’t really that scared of little tarantulas like him anymore, but I wasn’t so comfortable with them that I wanted the little bastard sneaking around in my room or in my bed somewhere, he’d have to get his name on the lease and pay rent for that.
I went into the kitchenette and grabbed a fork and my work lunchbox. I went back into my room and gently shook him out of the jacket pocket and used the fork to guide him into the lunchbox, then trapped him in the lunchbox. I’d take him back to work and release him in a greenhouse.
That night when I went to work, I dropped my laundry off in the mud room for the end of my shift like I always did, and Consuelo caught up with me right after I dumped my little hitchhiker out of my lunchbox in Greenhouse #2. I was about to go check up on the concrete pour I did to the fence the other night, when she gave me new orders.
“Boss lady talked to you about strapping up, right?” She asked.
“Yea, Bellatrix and I had a conversation about me carrying a pistol on the property the other night.” I admitted.
“Bellatrix?” Consuelo laughed.
“Oh... Fuck, I’ll be honest, I forgot her name like 10 minutes into the job interview and I didn’t bother to ask again because I didn’t want to look like an asshole. I was hoping someone would just say her name in front of me and I’d pick it up then, but, it’s literally just you and me here at night so...” I said.
“That shit’s hilarious. Her name’s Morgan, by the way. You should call her Bellatrix to her face though, she’d get a laugh out of that.” Consuelo said.
“Well, as long as everyone thinks it's funny.” I shrugged.
“Anyway, Morgan... Bellatrix is out getting coffee right now.” Consuelo said.
“Coffee? Now? I get us drinking coffee, I didn’t know she was night shift.” I asked.
“She’s a fuckin night owl. All those wacky call times at all hours of the day in the adult business fucked up all our sleep cycles, we can’t go back to normie time. Anyway, there’s a gun belt and an old 1911 in the top drawer of her desk. Go in there and put it on.” Consuelo said.
“Well, if Bellatrix said strap up, I’m strapping up.” I shrugged, and went back into the house.
I climbed the stairs up through the Addams Family house and found Morgan/Bellatrix’s playroom/office where she kept all her whips and chains and paperwork, or whatever it was you needed to run a weed farm.
I walked around behind the desk and looked at the drawers. It was just as I remembered it from my dream, dark wood, probably mahogany, probably made by a carpenter who gave a shit, not some cheap Ikea chipboard crap. I hesitated for a moment wondering what was in those drawers. I didn’t think they were always full of giant tarantulas, all the time. Some of that had to be for show. Maybe she kept one in there for job interviews just to see how people reacted, and then moved it back to wherever she kept them normally.
I opened the drawer Consuelo told me to, and found an old leather cowboy style gun belt with a Colt 1911 in the holster. I checked the gun to make sure it was safe. I wasn’t exactly the world’s biggest gun nut, but I remembered that she called it a grandpa gun, so I assumed it was old and needed a good once over.
I pulled the gun out of the holster, popped the clip and racked the slide, made sure it was all the way empty. The wood grips were chipped and the slide had some scratches on it, but when I looked in the guts it looked oiled and clean, someone had taken care of it to make sure it would still work correctly. Somebody around here must have known guns better than I did.
I strapped the belt on, re-holstered the gun, and felt like John fuckin Wayne. It was still all so surreal to me, here I was, on some spider infested weed farm cultivating pot for a bunch of gothic ex-pornstars. It would have been a wacky story anywhere but LA.
I turned on my heel to leave the room, until I remembered something, and I had to investigate. Maybe it was the fact that I had grandpa’s handcannon on my hip giving me some extra confidence, but there was a thought in the back of my head that wouldn’t leave me alone and I had to take it to it's conclusion.
I turned back around to face the desk. I yanked open the top drawer on the left side, the one opposite the drawer the gun was in. It was the drawer the goliath birdeater tarantula was in the day of my interview. I looked in, and there was no spider. Okay, fine. Maybe at least there was one thing here that was normal after all. Maybe there weren’t spiders in literally every drawer on the property.
I shut the drawer, and yanked the one out under it. There were some papers, and some kind of bundle. It was difficult to see, I didn’t have all the lights on in the room. I turned on the desk lamp to check it out.
The bundle was a coil of white silk bondage rope, like the kind I had seen in my wet dream. I had never looked in that drawer or seen that kind of rope anywhere else in my life.
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2022.01.17 00:12 sadboilermaker How to get an A on linear algebra?
Anyone have any advice? How possible is it?
I had an A in calc 3 without studying seriously first sem........but I regret that because the days before the exams were stressful af as I had to study everything in two days
How should I start studying? How to do good? What to watch? Anything like chenflix?
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2022.01.17 00:12 WavySeann Money got longer, speaker got louder, car got faster.
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2022.01.17 00:12 sburgess86 Ancestral sequence reconstructions evaluated by extant sequence cross-validation
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2022.01.17 00:12 LazerBarracuda Does anyone have a working link to a download for this? (Killer Chiller's 2006 Six Flags Great Adventure Rollercoaster Tycoon 2 Recreation)
|submitted by LazerBarracuda to openrct2 [link] [comments]|
2022.01.17 00:12 Henryphillips29 Who else Besides Viz Media and Funimation?
What other us companies dub anime in English, I know 4kids is out of business, and crunchyroll I don’t think is a dubbing studio but an anime streaming service last time I checked so who else is out there?
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2022.01.17 00:12 TheEminenceInShadow those eyes.....
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2022.01.17 00:12 Rouletti 33533
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2022.01.17 00:12 lentejasbean420 I'm sure this has been asked already, but I want to know, who's your favorite Jojo? And why?
Mine is Jotaro, idk, it feels like he doesn't care much about the fact that he's so powerful, I guess because he never cared about anything that much, or at least he didn't show he did. Also Joseph Joestar, I like him too, I like those two characters so much cause they're like really unbothered about everything, but anyways, who's your favorite from all of them?
Btw, should I read the manga? I have watched the anime, and not entirely, but I'm curious if there's any difference at all.
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2022.01.17 00:12 Kabaumer What is everyone’s opinion of this Chris Harris guy?
I followed a few Safemoon things on Twitter but that’s as far as I’ve gone on that platform and This dude ALWAYS shows up and I do not follow him. Seems new and he likes to say he’s for Safemoon but also likes to create drama and division. Is it just my feed? Not familiar with Twitter yet but he’s the worst part of it so far.
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2022.01.17 00:12 moony7765 looking for opinions
hello ! im looking for opinions on the MILK makeup brand ! i’ve been interested in purchasing because i like the “no makeup” makeup ! i hear lots of complaints on the price:size ratio but considering i don’t usually wear makeup unless i have plans or just feel like it on a whim , im not entirely concerned about the size (especially because it’ll be my first try) i have a very normal skin type , not super acne prone or anything , though a little sensitive with some redness i appreciate any comments !!!
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